It’s funny because when you ask people what they are looking for in a mate, you most often hear adjectives like: smart, good looking, great job, must have chemistry, similar interests…you know, the basics. However, I was having this discussion with a girlfriend recently who has been out on tons of dates, but nothing even remotely impressive.
Just the other day I got a call. There was complete excitement on the line. Julie was telling me that she had met someone she really liked. Yay! Finally! I was super excited for her, so we made plans to meet for lunch to talk about the guy.
“So, tell me about him!”
The first word that comes out of her mouth is – “Normal. He’s pretty normal.”
I love it.
Wait…normal? Yep. Normal. As we dive in a bit, we both agree that this is one thing people seem to be missing these days. Normalcy. Normalness. (it’s a word, right?) These days it seems like there is nothing but drama, fakery, housewives, jersey shore, and the one up sickness, it’s like everyone has to have some kind of crazy issues surrounding them. I mean, excitement is fun and all, but sometimes, you just want someone to be a normal person. No drama, no extreme issues, no quirky hangups, no excessive baggage – just cool and normal. Obviously you can’t control situations dealt to you — that doesn’t make you NOT normal. You can accept the cards you are dealt. You have the ability to move forward in a positive fashion without playing the blame game every chance you get. That’s the normal I’m talking about.
It’s a compliment beyond all compliments really. There are tons of hot people out there, they’re a dime a dozen, especially if you live in LA. There are tons of talented people out there. Tons of smart people too. But normal…not tons. In fact – Julie told me that out of the last 6 guys she has dated — this is the only normal dude. The first had mommy issues – she wasn’t sure the umbilical cord was actually cut. The second guy had a “manageable” (his words) drug problem. The third guy was a constant name dropper. Every time they went out, he had to tell her what celeb he was buddies with or what sports figure was his workout buddy. The fourth was crazy jealous from date number two. She was not about to deal with that. Potential psycho. The fifth, she told me, was just a douche, no other way to put it. And finally — number 6 — NORMAL!
Normal!!! Seriously folks – bells and sirens are going off in the background — ladies and gentleman, she has won the prize — a normal guy!
So what exactly is normal in this case? Well Julie is happy to report that Chad has a family that is a little quirky (aren’t they all) but everyone gets along most of the time. He has a job he actually likes! He works out, but he’s not a crazy work out freak. He likes to go out and he’s cool staying in. He likes music – the same kind of music Julie likes! Bonus, he likes to go to concerts. He’s not angry or bitter. He’s battled the past and forgiven the wrongs of his past. He doesn’t feel like he has to prove anything to anyone. They have great conversation and incredible chemistry. He calls when he says he will, but he’s not needy or overbearing. He respects her and gives her space – but not too much space. It seems so natural. So normal.
You can revise your perfect mate wish list now. Be sure to add normal to the top of the list.
What does “normal” mean to you?
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